satire Archives - Spor Repor

Group Asks Eugene Emeralds To Change Their Name To Something Less Segregative

Following the footsteps of CBAG, PNWEC and WADAC, a Eugene-area advocacy group has issued a statement calling for the Eugene Emeralds to change their name.  The Eugene chapter of the American Gems Alliance has called on the Emeralds baseball organization to change their nickname on the grounds that it is disparaging to the underrepresented emerald community. “We asked… read more »

Damian Lillard To Collaborate With Jake Paul On His Next Rap Album

Portland Trail Blazers point guard and rapper Damian Lillard has announced he will collaborate with up-and-coming mega rap superstar Jake Paul on his next album. With Portland’s early departure from the NBA playoffs, Lillard is already well-into writing lyrics for his next rap album which he hopes to have done in time for the next… read more »

Millennial Dies After Attempting To Watch Entire Baseball Game At Home

While watching Tuesday night’s game between the Seattle Mariners and Minnesota Twins, twenty-four year old millennial Clark Davis died while attempting to sit through the entire game at this Beaverton home. Officials at Providence Portland Medical Center state that Davis was discovered by his girlfriend late Tuesday night after arriving home from her job at… read more »

University of Oregon Places $50k Stud Fees On Female Track Team Members

The University of Oregon have announced Monday that, following the completion of their triple crown (cross country, indoor track, outdoor track) this past weekend, the university has placed a $50k stud fee on every single member of the school’s female track team.  In an effort to help boost the university’s income on top of a… read more »