So I’ll admit, we are a bit late to the college football season. It’s safe to say when the season started way back in September, we had no idea Spor Repor would be born just a few months later. So we can at least get two weeks of the regular season done before bowl season hits, we’re just going to go ahead and get the ball rolling with a big ol’ bazooka blast to the back end.
In case you didn’t see the inaugural NFL Stache’s Spreads, bold means we picked that team cause we’re bold with our picks. Home team is always to the right of the two teams cause home is alright (get it). Anyways, here we go.
#5 TCU (-6.5) vs Texas (+6.5)
Analysis: My mom went to TCU back in a decade I can’t say or else I’ll be grounded even though I’m in college so the Horned Frogs win easily.
W. Kentucky (+23.5) vs #24 Marshall (-23.5)
Analysis: Since I don’t even know where Western Kentucky is on a map, Marshall wins by default.
Arkansas (PICK) vs #17 Missouri (PICK)
Analysis: In a teaser for an upcoming Spor Repor category, Missouri wins easily because a razorback can’t do crap against a tiger.
#13 Arizona State (PICK) vs #11 Arizona (PICK)
Analysis: The Sun Devils didn’t beat the Oregon Ducks early this season so that means they win over the team who has bad karma on them.
Stanford (+5) vs #8 UCLA (-5)
Analysis: For a chance to get their butt beat by the Ducks twice in the same season, the Bruins run rickshaw over the Cardinals.
S. Carolina (+4.5) vs #21 Clemson (-4.5)
Analysis: The Tigers realize that the ACC has to have another decent besides Florida State and Georgia Tech so they say to themselves, why not us?
#16 Georgia Tech (+12.5) vs #9 Georgia (-12.5)
Analysis: SEC > ACC…duh
Kentucky (+12.5) vs #22 Louisville (-12.5)
Analysis: This isn’t basketball so Louisville wins handily
Michigan (+21) vs #6 Ohio State (-21)
Analysis: Ohio State will win but the Buckeyes start to feel pitiful of the Wolverines during halftime and let them come back to lose by only two touchdowns.
#25 Utah (-9) vs Colorado (+9)
Analysis: The buffaloes get taken down when the Utah football players find out there is no more turkey and they have to find a large animal to please their sudden spike in meat intake.
#4 Miss. State (-2) vs #19 Ole Miss (+2)
Analysis: My…well, I’m just going to say female friend who I went to high school with, goes to Ole Miss and since I want TCU in the CFPs, go Rebs.
Florida (+7.5) vs #3 Florida State (-7.5)
Analysis: PLEASE, SOMEONE BEAT THE SEMINOLES!
#7 Baylor (-24.5) vs Texas Tech (+24.5)
Analysis: Still in the hunt for the playoffs, Baylor keeps trying to whip the crap out of people in order to gain more votes.
#10 Michigan State (-13) vs Penn State (+13)
Analysis: The Spartans lost to the Oregon Ducks earlier this season so therefore they have my blessing to keep on winning.
#18 Minnesota (+14) vs #14 Wisconsin (-14)
Analysis: Really, it’s a rivalry game. A 14-point spread when the teams are only four spots apart in the ranking. Wait, I’m starting to count smart…Wisconsin can’t help but eat cheese before the game so they lose against the spread.
Kansas (+28) vs #12 Kansas State (-28)
Analysis: Kansas State was one of my fallback schools so they get my vote.
#15 Auburn (+9.5) vs #1 Alabama (-9.5)
Analysis: I really don’t want to pick this. I sadly think Alabama will win but not by almost double-digits. Is Marcus Davis still at Auburn?
#2 Oregon (-19.5) vs Oregon State (+19.5)
Utah State (+8.5) vs #23 Boise State (-8.5)
Analysis: I just found out two weeks ago that Boise State is actually decent this season even without Chris Peterson. Since they’re technically in certain Cascadia renderings, the Broncos win easily.