So, I know what you’re thinking. Where in the hell is this week’s Stache’s Spread podcast. Well…let’s just say I’m not 100% ridden of my college ways just yet (heck, I graduated last June for pete sakes).

Long story short, a concoction similar to jungle juice in nature was the cause of me waiting until…seven hours before kickoff in order to bother with this week’s selections. Now, in no way should you consider this a sign of things to come. I’d like to blame this on a hangover following my trip to Canada last weekend but, let’s face it, poutine only takes so much out of you (I’ll never know why that lovely meal has yet to cross the border).

Anyways, in order to keep my selections valid and my season on the rails, here is a rare (as in hopefully a one-time occurrence) written edition of Stache’s Spreads for 2015 NFL Week 6 set of games.

After coming off a 6-2 record in Week 4, Mark hit the replay button in his rushed Week 5 selections with another record of 6-2 (5-2 plus a win for the Cincinnati -3 push because comebacks should be rewarded). This puts Mark’s record on the season through five weeks at 24-16. Will Mark, otherwise known as myself, make it three weeks in a row of impressive outcomes? Well, if a second week of rushed selections has any indication, that might just be the case.

Bold indicates Mark’s selection

Arizona (-3.5) vs Pittsburgh

With Roethlisberger once again being ruled out for the Steelers, expect the Cardinals to continue their early dominance after coming out in force against Detroit last weekend after suffering their only loss of the season the week prior.

Cincinnati (-3) vs Buffalo

Did you see that comeback by the Bengals last weekend at home against what is supposed to be one of the best defenses in the league? Well I didn’t so no spoilers. With Tyrod Taylor injured for the Bills, I don’t consider EJ Manuel a threat against Cincinnati’s unbeaten streak even with the game in Buffalo.

Chicago vs Detroit (-3.5)

This game is ranked as my least confident selection. The only reason I selected Chicago was because of that extra +0.5. If it were -3, I would’ve avoided it. If it were -2.5, I’d have to consider the Lions squeaking out their first win of the season by a field goal at home.

Houston vs Jacksonville (-2.5)

I’m finally ready to admit that Houston is just not that good (meanwhile ESPN thinks trading Arian Foster for Jeremy Hill/Brandon Marshall in fantasy is totally not an obvious sign of collusion or the owner of Hill/Marshall having a mild stroke and accidentally hitting the accept button in the process). Jacksonville, this is a game you have to win if you don’t want to be consider one of the worst teams in the league and instead just a bad team.

Kansas City vs Minnesota (-3.5)

The loss of Jamaal Charles is going to greatly effect the Chiefs offense (they might have to start throwing touchdowns to wide receivers now) so a road game against AP and a middle-of-the-road Vikings team does not bode well for them. Remember when their road win against Houston in Week 1 was real impressive?

Baltimore (-2) vs San Francisco

San Francisco early on looks to be one of those teams who need to play at home to have any shot of winning. In three road games so far this season (Pittsburgh/Arizona/NY Giants) , the 49ers have allowed an average of 40 points compared to 10 points for their two home games (Minnesota/Green Bay). With Baltimore being arguably the worst offense they’ve faced this season (helped by the injury to Steve Smith), expect the Kaepernick and the 49ers to win this game to instill some pride back into the team after a tough loss last week on Sunday night. Wow, I used actual data in one of my selections. Yeah me.

New England (-9) vs Indianapolis

If you thought Red Wedding was the most brutal thing ever to happen on television on a Sunday night then I suggest you watch this game and have more mind change. The last time New England faced Indianapolis they won by a score of 45-7. That was in the 2015 AFC Championship game last January…ouch. If there is any indication courtesy of the Colts slow start to the season, expect to see reaction videos to Sunday night’s game to be going viral left and right come Monday morning.

NY Giants vs Philadelphia (-5.5)

I don’t want to bet against Chip, especially because the Duck community needs as much uplifting news right now as they can find. However, -5.5 is just too much against a conference foe hasn’t looked too shabby this season (7 points away from being 5-0 instead of 3-2). While Odell Beckham Jr’s status for the game is up in the air, I still think this spread is completely reactionary to the Eagles win over the Saints who, like the Texans, are just not good. I’m so sorry Drew Brees but it looks like your final stretch is yin to Peyton Manning’s 5-0 yang.