With the state championships for boys and girls basketball in the wraps, a northwest-based sports network is glad they no longer have to give a crap about high school athletics until football season starts this fall.
Time Warner Sports Cascadia, a regionally-based sports network covering Washington and Oregon, was forced to care about high school sports these past two weeks in an effort to appease parents of high school kids across the region. The period, known as “State Finals”, is a time where sports fans come together and are given a nostalgia trip, for better or worse, while rooting for a group of athletes who are ruining the English language #realtalk.
Following the conclusion of Oregon’s state finals this past weekend, many TWSC commentators are now relieved they can get back to covering and reporting more important news stories.
“I played basketball in high school but once you turn nineteen, you don’t care about high school sports again until you have a kid of your own playing them,” said TWSC anchor Jason Steen. “However, once state finals roll around, you get sent countless angry messages on Facebook from mothers and fathers wondering why you aren’t covering their son or daughter’s accomplishments. That’s why the network sets aside time to appease the masses.”
“High school state finals are like tax season for sports networks,” stated TWSC producer Brianna Elliott. “You have to do them every year. They take way longer than you expect. They’re more agonizing than you remember. If you miss something, you get called out by administrators. You get double taxed. And, once all is said and done, your return is always smaller than what you thought it would be.”
TWSC plans on replacing the airtime dedicated to state finals with a sixth hour of Seattle Seahawks coverage. The network will once again acknowledge the existence of high school athletics once football season starts later this fall.