In an historic 5-4 vote Monday, the Seattle City Council has voted to ban the sport of basketball from being played within the city limits of Seattle.
The move comes on the heels of critics, including the Port of Seattle and the Seattle Mariners baseball organization, feeling that basketball is just too dangerous of a sport for Seattle youth to be exposed to and turns them into hooligans; favoring more wholesome sports like stick ball and marbles.
“Moving to ban basketball from Seattle is the smartest and most proactive move,” said city councilwoman Sally Bagshaw, sporting her new autographed Felix Hernandez jersey. “Kids shouldn’t be playing sports on cement and pavement. They should be frolicking the the grass and the water where they’re safe from the world around them.”
Critics cite instances of local Seattle children playing pick-up basketball along Occidental Avenue, just south of Safeco Field, as cause for concern. “I don’t want those children to quite possibly be harmed by the heavy traffic along Occidental Avenue throughout the day” said city councilwoman Lisa Herbold, wearing her Port of Seattle lanyard. “If playing basketball is going to cause such reckless behavior like playing in and near the street than I don’t think it has a place within our fair city.”
Exempt from the ban on basketball are the University of Washington and Seattle University who will be allowed to continue fielding mens and womens basketball programs. “These teams have a legacy in the city of Seattle we need to protect,” said councilwoman Deborah Juarez while twiddling her Chesapeake Energy pen. “We just can’t turn a blind eye to them and pretend they don’t matter. They do. That’s why they’re exempt from this ruling.”
The five Seattle City Council members to vote in favor of the ban were Juarez, Bagshaw, Herbold, Lorena Gonzalez, and Kshama Swart. The four sane council members to vote against the ban were Bruce Harrell, Rob Johnson, Mike O’Brien, and Tim Burgess.