In a remarkable discovery, scientists from Washington State University were able to uncovered the first signs of all star game defense during last night’s NBA All Star Game in New Orleans.
The scientists from WSU’s Department of Science & Stuff discovered the first faint instances of defense ever found during an NBA All Star Game during the second quarter of last night’s game in New Orleans.
Scientists Nick Harden and Damian Crabbe, who’ve been researching allstarus defensus for the past ten years at the university, say they discovered the first faint moments of defense when West forward Kawhi Leonard was matched up momentarily with East forward Paul George.
Harden states the defense occurred when, instead of letting forward LeBron James pick him, Leonard exuded actual defensive effort and continued to vigorously mark George instead of allowing him a lightly-contested open jumper just inside the arc.
“It was truly astonishing to see live,” stated Crabbe. “You see defense all the time during the regular season but it’s never been seen during the all star game. This is truly a scientific breakthrough.”
“If defense can occur during the all star game, something once unheard of, then there is the possibility for it to spread throughout the game,” said Harden. “The NBA All Star Game has the potential to become the first-ever game of its kind where players actually give a damn and give 100% effort on defense.”
While some in the scientific community have voiced their skepticisms that the incident Harden and Crabbe alluded to was an example of proper defense, the two believe it is an important first step toward bringing Allstarus Defensus back from extinction.
“If we can examine just how allstarus defensus manifested itself during last night’s game then we can start the testing process,” said Harden. “Our goal, if all goes well, is to one day bring allstarus defensus back from extinction and to a point where it is able to thrive alongside regularus defensus and postsaurus defensus all by its own.”