Team Name: Perth Heat

Alter Egos: Perth Fastballs, West Australia Heat, The Happy Heaters (I’m serious, this one is actually real)

League: Australian Baseball League (ABL)

True Rivals: Being located in West Australia, Having to travel across the continent for any away games, snow (honestly, why do you guys play baseball in the winter?)

Hometown: Thornlie, Perth, Western Australia, Australia, Earth, Milky Way, God’s Left Pinky Toe

Home Venue: Baseball Park…seriously? – 4,000

Nearest Bar To Pre-Game At: Last Drop Pub & Brewery – 1.2 kilometers

Best Player Names: Jon Jones (I didn’t know UFC skills translated to baseball so well)

Worst Player Name: Warwick Saupold (what makes this sad is his middle name is Anthony which IS A MUCH MORE SUITABLE FIRST NAME THAN WARWICK)

Chances In A Nickname War: You’re hot so you’ve got an advantage against anything that inherently cold or a human being that cannot control its libido.

Interesting Fact: The Perth Heat are the most successful team in Australia’s equivalent to Major League Baseball having won 15 Claxton Shields which are the equivalent to the FA Cup in English soccer. Former Perth Heat player who’ve made it to the MLB include Jay Powell, who pitched Game 7 of the 1997 World Series for the Florida Marlins, and some guy named Rick Krivda who won a gold medal for the 2000 USA baseball team.

The current iteration of the ABL was resurrected in 2010 in part thanks to Major League Baseball becoming a co-founder alongside the Australian Baseball Federation (you’re welcome Australia). The Perth Heat are also the current ABL title holders and totally did not steal their nickname from the Miami Heat who were founded in 1988; one year before Perth. I mean come on guys, a logo consisting of a ball with a tail of color symbolizing heat is a completely original idea.

Also, could someone please fill me in on their Twitter profile’s bio? Are the Perth Heat drunk?