Okay, I’ll be honest, I was a bit harsh with you yesterday. It’s just…I’ve been doing through some tough things the past week. I mean…I don’t know what to eat anymore. You know how jarring that is for a person like me? I feel like I’m in a vicious cycle between burger, pizza, fries, and tacos that I cannot get out of. Hell, I haven’t had anything but soda the past few days because I’m afraid to drink anything else. How crazy is that?

Anyways, enough of my problems, let’s just get this over with so I can get on to doing just two matchup articles from here on out with regards to March Madness until both the NIT Championship and NCAA Tournament Championship presented by Cingular or SBC or whatever the hell they want to call themselves now.

Gonzaga vs UCLA

#2 Bulldogs (Gonzaga) vs #11 Bruins (UCLA)

I’m in a bit of a bind with this matchup from a bias perspective. On one hand I have the bulldog who is representing the entire Pacific Northwest, aka Cascadia, of which I’ve grown up in all my life. On the other I have UCLA who, along with Oregon, are apart of the PAC-12 and come national tournament time it’s all about #BackThePac. So, since those basically cancel each other out, I can’t help but look at simply the beast-to-beast where the bear would of course maul the bulldog. Sorry Zags, better luck next season.

Winner: Bruins (UCLA)

Louisville vs NC State

#4 Cardinals (Louisville) vs #8 Wolfpack (NC State)

Finally, an upset predicted by Nickname Wars finally pans out in real life. Also, let’s face it, if a wolfpack can get my the mighty wildcat, I think it’ll make a cardinal look like a mini sausage in comparison.

Winner: Wolfpack (NC State)

Duke vs Utah

#1 Blue Devils (Duke) vs #5 Utes (Utah)

Duke are going to go down in history as one of the biggest, if not first major thorn in the side of Spor Repor. Time and time again I’m waiting for a matchup to give this blue devil a challenge but battle after battle I’m given these measly nicknames that never could stack up to a blue devil. This pattern holds with the Ute (I’m not going to explain for the millionth time what a Ute is so just search for it on this site) who cannot stand up to this blue devil. At this point, I’m hoping UCLA wins so I can at least try and find a success game plan for a bear against a devil.

Winner: Blue Devils (Duke)

Oklahoma vs Michigan State

#3 Sooners (Oklahoma) vs #7 Spartans (Michigan State)

Oh look…Oklahoma…again. Well, at least I have a completely┬álegitimate┬áNickname Wars-based┬ásolution for the sooner to lose. What weapon and armor does a sooner have that could in anyway compare to a spartan? None I tell you. This obvious disadvantage in the attack and defense departments leads to the sooner’s rather quick demise.

Winner: Spartans (Michigan State)