In last night’s NBA All-Star Game Slam Dunk contest, what’s-his-name from that team you don’t particularly follow was crowned the victor in, I assume, his first-ever appearance in the contest.

That tall dude, who I think went to one of those major colleges for a year, blew away the judges and the viewers at home when he decided to jump over that large object no one thought you could dunk over. 

“This trophy is the highlight of my career,” said that guy. “After today no one will forget the name…”

What did he say his name was again? Did he say his name was Jeremy Evans? Maybe it was Chase Budinger? It might have been Derrick Jones or Glenn Robinson. Something like that.

Anyways, the winner faced tough competition from the three other participants in the Slam Dunk contest. Those two other guys you’ve already forgotten the names of put up a valiant effort as well as LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers who took what’s-his-name down to the wire in the final round.

“This is my tenth appearance in the Slam Dunk contest and this might have been one of the best I’ve ever participated in,” said James. “These guys who will never make it into the actual All-Star Game put their blood, sweat and tears into this competition and it showed. I had a lot of fun out there and I hope I’m able to compete in it again in the future. The fans love having me back and I love the support of the fans.”

“I think the Slam Dunk contest is the best part of All-Star weekend,” said what’s-his-face last night. “James and the others put on a show out there and I’m happy to have competed against them. I dedicated every spare second after practice, because I’ve got nothing better to do, to this contest. I’m so grateful for the fans support tonight and hope they were well entertained.”