Team Name: London Lightning

Alter Egos: London Basketball Cutouts, London Canada Lightning

League: National Basketball League of Canada

True Rivals: Windsor Express, the capital of England, having to play at the same place twice

Hometown: London, Ontario, Canada

Home Venue: Budweiser Gardens – 10,000

Nearest Bar To Pre-Game At: Fitzray’s Restaurant ~ 100 meters

Best Player Names: Chad Posthumus (wait, if Chad is posthumus and therefore dead, does that mean the London Lightning have a ghost on their roster?)

Worst Player Name: Taylor Black (if a white guy’s last name is Black, is that racist?)

Chances In A Nickname War: The Lightning will do well unless of course there are any sort of rematches in which case they’d be screwed

Interesting Fact: You might have guessed that London was named after its bigger brother across the pond when it was founded but I bet you had no idea how large it was. London’s current population sits at roughly 366,000 residents which makes the city larger than homes to professional sports teams such as Tampa, St Louis, Pittsburgh, and Cincinnati. Does that mean London is getting a pro sports team anytime soon? Hell no.

The town borders the Thames River for pete sakes. What’s next? Am I going to find a clock tower called Big Benjamin or a bridge called Towers Bridge? I’m starting to think Ontario’s London might be a Chinese knockoff of the one in London.

Wait a minute…the NFL has been leaning toward putting a team in London, England. One of biggest drawbacks though is the time zone difference and length of travel. Maybe, just maybe, the NFL can get away with their goal of putting a team “in London” by simply putting it in a London that’s much closer to home. That’s brilliant. Canada is a foreign country just like England so what’s the difference. This makes perfect sense. I’m going to call Roger Goodell right now. You’re welcome London, Ontario.