Former Washington State Cougars basketball player LaVar Ball has been rush to a Spokane hospital after reportedly choking on his own bullshit.
Ball, who has been a resident at Eastern State Hospital the past two years, was found in his room unconsciousness Friday morning after reportedly choking on an exorbitant amount of his own bullshit.
Ball, the father of projected first round NBA Draft pick Lonzo Ball, had been building up an immunity to his own bullshit while under the care of the hospital’s staff. However, staff members state that Ball suddenly had an uncontrollable amount of bullshit come out of his mouth which caused him to choke on it and become unconscious.
“We haven’t determined yet what caused Ball to spout a large amount of bullshit so suddenly this morning,” stated Dr. Cristine Leahie. “We’ve been monitoring his condition and it seems we’ve got him in stable condition. He still hasn’t regained full consciousness but we believe he’ll make a full recovery.”
After Ball had been loaded onto an ambulance bound for Sacred Heart Medical Center in Spokane, staff members scoured Ball’s room in order to discover the cause the incident.
One staff member, who wished to remain anonymous, stated Ball’s recent internet history might ultimately shed some light on the cause of Ball’s incident.
“We saw that in the past 24 hours, Mr. Ball had visited sites such as 4chan, Barstool Sports, Breitbart, Buzzfeed and a variety of Reddit subreddits such as r/conspiracy and r/theredpill. His YouTube history also shows that he’d been watching old episodes of Crossing Over with John Edward and the Long Island Medium. We believe that some of this recent activity might have caused his bullshit output to spike.”
Dr. Leahie states that she believes LaVar Ball will make a full recovery within the next three days.