Team Name: Jersey Express SC

Alter Ego: Ironbound, New York Jersey Express SC, Purdue Express SC

League: Premier Development League (PDL)

True Rivals: New York Red Bulls U-23, New York Red Bulls, the New Jersey Institute of Technology soccer team, that guy who has his own show about making cakes

Hometown: Newark, New Jersey

Where Not To Stay When Visiting From Out Of Town: Umm…I hear the hotels that are directly adjacent to the Newark Liberty Airport (if you can handle the plane noise).

Home Venue: Lubetkin Field – 2,500

Nearest Bar To Pre-Game At: McGovern’s Tavern – 0.6 miles

Best Player Names: Carlos Vitor Alvarenga Silva & Fernando Cezar Argolo Filho (kudos to you two for single-handedly showing that damn Scantron who’s boss by going over the allotted character limit)

Worst Player Name: Christopher Karcz (for your sake, you better not pronounce your last name exactly like “cars” or else you are no better than video game players whose gamertags have an absurd amount of “x”s in them for no apparent reason)

Chances In A Nickname War: It all depends on whether or not the war takes place during rush hour.

Interesting Fact: Jersey Express SC are named after the famed Jersey Express basketball team of the ABA (not the cool retro one you’re thinking of). Founded in 2005 under the name Newark Express, the Jersey Express have won five division titles during their 14 seasons of existence, or so I’m told. Also, according to their Wikipedia page, they play their home games at Centenary College and Malcolm X Shabazz High School. This is quite a feat for a minor league basketball such as themselves to play home games simultaneously at two different locations. A true test of their team’s depth.