A lifelong football fan from Bellingham is already planning how he will be calling in sick to his boss, this year, the day after the Super Bowl.
Grant Guthridge of Bellingham, who hosts an annual Super Bowl party at his house, is already planning on how he will be able to get away with calling in sick the day after this year’s Super Bowl between the New England Patriots and Atlanta Falcons. Guthridge, who works at a local bank, has begun reviewing game tape from previous Super Bowls to determine what the best course of action will be this year.
According to Guthridge, this will be the eleventh-straight year he hopes to pull one over on his boss.
“Usually I need about a day or two to go over tape in order to plan the best strategy,” said Guthridge. “There are many layers when you’re calling in sick. You’ve got to develop a story. My story could even start the day before the Super Bowl. It’s important to create a cohesive storyline with every potential plot hole filled in. It’s also important to make sure my story this year doesn’t overlap with any of the previous ten stories I’ve told Mike.”
While Guthridge has yet to formulate his plan for this year’s Super Bowl, he talked about some of what he’s had to do for previous games.
“I’ve done everything from pretending that I was medically constipated and needed to go in for surgery to remove my excrement to pretending that my aunt had died suddenly and I needed time to reflect. I don’t even like my aunt. I’m pretty sure she’s a 49ers fan. She can go to hell for all I care. I even once fed myself ipecac after the Hawks lost to New England. That wasn’t even part of the script I had plan. It just came naturally. My wife sent a picture of me, to Mike, violently throwing up into the bathtub and that’s all he needed to excuse me from work.”