Eastern Washington University have disbanded their men’s basketball program effective immediately after being invited to this year’s CBI. 

The Eagles, who finished second in the Big Sky this season, reportedly could not handle the shame of having to play in the College Basketball Invitational and opted to disband the program instead of competing in the tournament.

While playing in the CBI wasn’t their greatest concern, athletic administrators were more worried about the shame that could be brought on the program and university if it were to lose a game in the tourney. 

“Once you lose in the CBI, there’s no going back,” stated Eastern Washington athletic director Bill Chaves. “I didn’t want our staff and players to go through that level of humiliation if they were to lose. We would’ve gladly gone and competed in the NIT if we were invited. However, competing in any other post-season tournament could only bring with it great shame and agony to our campus and department. Disbanding the men’s basketball program was the only possible recourse once we were invited.”

“Our team had a relatively good season,” stated Eagles forward Bogdan Bliznyuk. “It would’ve been nice to make it to the tourney or the NIT. However, none of us want our season tainted by competing in the CBI. You can’t be proud about that. No one brags about winning that tournament (we don’t talk about 2010-11 on this site). It doesn’t mean anything. Our seniors would rather end their playing careers early and get to work playing Horizon: Zero Dawn rather than a playing few extra games in that tournament.”

Eastern Washington plan to reinstate their men’s basketball program once this year’s CBI has concluded. No word yet on when that will be. Our staff have opted not to look into the tournament any further for fear of someone discovering the research in their Internet history.