Following Sunday’s Grey Cup, millions of fair-weather CFL fans have started their migration south where they’ll become NFL fans for the remainder of winter.
Much like their geese brethren, Canadians will be forgetting the CFL exists and migrating south as part of a trend that has grown exponentially as more citizens are made aware of the NFL’s superiority. Once a tradition only a hundred thousand or so Canadians took part in, the migration has come to encompass the entire nation, especially in major metro areas such as Toronto and Vancouver.
At the conclusion of winter, Canadians will return home where they’ll get some chores done before summer rolls around and another CFL season begins.
“This will be my 31st migration, eh,” stated Abbotsford resident Kyle Swooneh. “When I was a young one, I often stayed back home and waited in anticipation for the new CFL season. Now that I’m older, I’ve come to realize there is much more to life then mediocre players propped up by rules that greatly exaggerate their offensive and defensive skill levels, eh. The CFL is still fun and all but you can’t just have juice from juice boxes your whole life.”
Heather Loundes of Prince George will be making her first migration this winter, joining her wife Sarah who has migrated the previous three years solo.
“Gosh, Sarah had been egging me on all this time to go with her. I kept resisting though. I thought to myself, ‘So what?’ Then, she finally convinced me a few weeks ago. She showed me where our star quarterback went to college. Apparently no one outside of Michigan has even heard of Saginaw Valley State. His school is that forgettable. Kind of makes you wonder why he’s in the league to start with. So, I decide I’ll try migrating this winter and see how it turns out. Go Cowboys!”
It’s estimated that the NFL will be taking in roughly four million fair-weather CFL fans this winter. Those anticipating the largest surges are border teams such as Seattle, Buffalo and Detroit along with bandwagon-friendly teams such as Dallas, New England, and Oakland.